The Ups and Downs of Trampolining

With a heavy heart and a milkshake, I write this story of tragedy and destiny. Being a patron of many bars in many places, I happen upon interesting stories as frequently as Sunday. My stumbles have taken me to many a place, but for this story, that will some day become legend, I was seated in an Irish Pub in the suburbs of Rhode Island. So with open ears and a belly full of rum I listened to a grieving mothers tale of The Ups and Downs of Trampolining....

Toys, trains and model airplanes are the wishes of most children during the Christmas holiday, but this was not the case for a very special child who always wanted something different and something new. This Difficult child would not settle for the ordinary, he would only settle for the extraordinary, which in this case was a very large trampoline. The parents of the Difficult child would explain to him the dangers of such an item, given the small stature of the boy, but all the Difficult child would do is complain and tell his parents that they did not love him. Frustration was a common emotion expressed by the parents, so on Christmas day, to quiet the boys babbling, there was a very large, very dangerous trampoline assembled in the back yard. Without even opening any of the other presents, which were neatly wrapped under the tree, the Difficult child made his way to the back yard to enjoy the present he fought so hard to receive. For several minutes the Difficult child jumped up and down on the trampoline, enjoying the feeling of falling and the feeling of flying. The Difficult child even had his hands in his pockets to make himself more aerodynamic. What went unnoticed in this event was the neighbors Obese Child observing the Difficult child. Wobbling out to join in the fun, the Obese Child climbed the small ladder and began jumping. When the two children landed on the trampoline surface at the same time, tragedy struck. The Difficult child flew in three directions, up and out and eventually down. With his hands still in his pockets the boy fell head first into the rocky terrain of back yard and died instantly. Oblivious to what just had happened the Obese Child decided that the trampoline was boring. He went back inside to play with his toys, trains and model airplanes.